How It Feels To Feel
by IshiiNihonto
Summary: A New Mitchell a seemingly familiar face has returned to Walford. My own character she isn't a real character from the program. Phil's nasty fiance Suzy has some compitition. A FEMSLASH Story. Please review!
1. The New Mitchell

**Chapter 01 – The New Mitchell**

The taxi pulled up into Albert Square, he black haired girl sighed as memories came flooding back to her at the sight of "The Queen Victoria" sitting comfortably between the flocks of shopping people.

"Thanks it's just here." She told the driver, pulling open the door as she took her small suitcase out with her. She thrust some notes into the driver's outstretched hand and looked up at the pub, the taxi driving away.

"Well...home sweet home." Rubbing her hands together, the young girl pulled her suitcase behind her – heading for the pub's double doors.

"I still don't understand why we can't get a place of our own." Suzy growled folding her arms as her bald fiancé ignored her, searching their room for his belt. After a short pause, the blonde woman spoke again this time her tone was more frustrated and demanding.

"Don't ignore me Phil!" The older man then lashed out back at his wife-to-be.

"Not now Suzy alright? I'm already late!" He buckled up his belt, closing his suitcase and zipping it tightly shut. Suzy pursed her lips and tapped her fingers against her crossed arm, clearly not impressed.

"Then at least tell me how long your little 'daddy son bonding time' will take." When she said 'daddy son bonding time' Suzy motioned quotation marks with her fingers, leaning against the door frame attempting to get Phil's attention. She failed.

"BEN?" Phil yelled across the landing – he again was ignoring Suzy. She clenched her jaw angrily, then turned on her heel, flicking her hair and slamming shut the bathroom door. Phil sighed and pressed his temple tightly. Ben entered the room.

"All packed?" Phil asked hurriedly as he snatched up his own suitcase, moving onto the landing.

"Yep, all packed." Ben chirped excitedly, his own suitcase clutched in his hands. Phil grinned and ruffled his son's hair, dragging his case down the stairs as Ben followed behind. Suzy narrowed her eyes in the bathroom then opened the door, waiting till she heard them both reach the bottom of the stairs before following too.

The pub bell rang as another customer entered; Shirley looked up to see a young girl of about seventeen. She had a suitcase tagging behind her. She was beautiful, making Shirley wonder what the hell she was doing in Walford. The pretty girls usually didn't last long here, they came stayed a while then left fast pace. This would be interesting, she thought, to see how long this girl would last here.

The black haired girl seated herself in the nearest corner and sat staring around the pub as if she'd never been in one in her entire lifetime. Phil came rushing into the front of the pub, Ben following behind and Suzy too. Shirley was brought back down to Earth as he came in. She nodded to him and Ben. The boy came running behind the bar and hugged her tight.

"Be good for your dad." She grinned. He laughed.

"I won't."

"That's my Ben." Shirley laughed too, hugging him again then smiling at Phil.

"Have a good time." Phil smiled firmly then nodded; Ben left the pub with his suitcase as Phil kissed Suzy on the cheek goodbye. He didn't say a word to her and she folded her arms again before going behind the bar and back to work.

The young girl seemed more confident now she'd admired the pub a little more closely. Getting to her feet she pulled her suitcase with her over to the bar. She turned to Shirley.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where I can find Ronnie Mitchell?" Shirley opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted.

"Oh my God...Grace...?" Came a voice from behind the new girl. She turned around and saw the blonde Mitchell sister standing in front of her.

"It IS you!" She was grabbed into a squeezing hug as Ronnie snuggled into her shoulder. Grace's eyes widened as she struggled to breathe. "I missed you!" Ronnie sobbed into her shoulder making a damp patch.

"I...m-missed...you too!" Grace chocked out then Ronnie let go of her instantly as she realised she was strangling her girl. Suzy raised her eyebrows at Ronnie – it was so out of character for her to cry so easily. She was usually so together. Curiosity about this new girl began to bubble inside the blonde woman, but she continued to serve, trying to watch discreetly and not failing at this.

"G-Grace..." Ronnie whispered, stroking the girl's cheek softly. Grace smiled weakly, her eyes glossy. "Is it really you?" Grace grinned.

"No I'm a man in disguise. Of course it's me, mom!" Shirley almost inhaled her glass as she sipped her drink. Unable to smirk at this, Suzy had almost done the same on a peanut and she began to cough with Shirley – both women trying to be as quiet and casual as possible.

"Ronnie what is all the fuss about-" Roxy stopped dead in her sentence as she clapped eyes upon Grace.

"Gracie?" She gasped, stepping closer to the girl as Ronnie grinned stepping back slightly to give them room.

"Auntie Roxy?" Grace asked in the same hushed voice. Roxy giggled excitedly, rushing forward and embracing the girl tightly. Her strength lifted Grace's feet off the floor as Roxy kissed her cheek. Grace squealed happily as Ronnie began to babble about being careful. Suzy (having recovered by now) rolled her eyes grumpily. She hated expressing her human emotions, as anyone who knew her would know from past experience.

Some of the people who everyone knew well were watching fascinated – none of them knowing the girl's relation to the Mitchell's yet. The word would spread soon that Ronnie's only daughter Grace had returned home. As Roxy loosened her grip, Peggy entered the pub and saw the black haired girl too.

"Well I'll be..." She whispered. Grace beamed as she spotted Peggy at the same time.

"My...you look like you're mother. Grace. So...so beautiful." Peggy was finding it hard to speak as she stroked Grace's face. "I haven't seen you since you were a toddler...! Look how you turned out!" Grace pulled Peggy into a hug.

"I'm so glad I'm home." The girl smiled happily as Peggy took her in the back to keep nosey customers out. Ronnie slipped her hand into Grace's. The four women going upstairs to have an almighty catch up.

For the first time ever and most likely the last, Shirley and Suzy were talking to each other in normal un-bitchy tones and both with curiosity dripping off their tongues.

"How old do you reckon the girl is?" Shirley asked, gob-smacked still.

"She looked about seventeen, eighteen..." Suzy returned, her voice was quiet and her brain was processing how old Ronnie must have been when she had her.

"How old is Ronnie?" Suzy asked now.

"Thirty-three." Shirley replied and they both fell silent as they calculated the math. The hubble and bubbe of the pub's sound didn't bother the two women as they stood in silence figuring it out.

"God..." Suzy whispered as her brain finished working. Shirley stood staring at the wall as she too had finished the math.

"She was sixteen when she had her..." Shirley murmured. Suzy blinked a few times then shook herself out of her thoughts, returning to her work behind the bar and resuming her hate for the other woman. Shirley rolled her eyes and went around tables, clearing up empty glasses.

Grace was leaning against her young mum as she told her story. Roxy was listening intently and Peggy looked saddened by the seventeen year olds words. Ronnie had asked Grace where her partner Kimberly was.

"Kim...Kim's dead." Roxy gasped then covered her mouth trying not to sound rude. Peggy closed her eyes tightly and Ronnie stared at the carpet, her eyes swelling up again. "She went to Iraq with the other soldiers not to long ago. I received a telegram two weeks back to tell me she was killed in action." Grace was rubbing her wrist as her voice became quieter with each word. Ronnie pulled Grace closer so that the young girl's head was comfortably under her chin.

"That's why I wanted to be home again. I know I didn't really grow up here, but I wanted to be with my family...my real family. I couldn't bare being alone. I needed Kim, but if I'm with all of you I knew I'd feel somewhat comforted knowing my true self. I'm sorry to put such sudden pressure on you." Peggy stood up and Roxy dabbed her face with a tissue before passing her sister the box.

"No not at all Grace! Don't worry one bit. You were right to come home to your family. We'll have a room set up for you straight away. You're not staying in a hotel or any bed and breakfast – you're staying right here." Grace smiled.

"Thank you Peggy." Ronnie kissed the top of Grace's head then stood. Roxy stood too and so Grace followed suite.

"We'll introduce you to everyone in a bit. If you want. Are you hungry?" Grace shook her head.

"No no, I had something to eat on the train; I'm not hungry at all." She managed a firmer smile to show Ronnie that she was okay. Roxy rubbed Grace's shoulder as she passed her and went downstairs to see who was in the pub to introduce the girl to. Peggy hugged Grace tightly then followed Roxy, leaving Ronne with her daughter.

"Don't worry about me. I'm alright now. I know Kim is being looked after wherever she is, and I know she's always with me. So I'm okay. Stop worrying." Ronnie smiled.

"I won't worry. I promise. You're a Mitchell. A fighter." Ronnie kissed her head again before taking her hand and bringing her down into the pub.

Ronnie suddenly had an idea as they moved over to the bar.

"We'll have a welcome home party! I'll get Roxy to help me go round the Square letting everyone know!" Grace grinned excitedly.

"That would be fantastic. Thank you so much." Ronnie smiled happily then rushed off to find Roxy. Suzy had been watching and was about to lean over the bar and talk to the girl, but Shirley intercepted and had already beaten her. She pouted in annoyance and moved to the other side of the bar to serve a grumpy looking old guy.

"Shirley. Nice to meet you." She put her hand out towards Grace. The black haired girl smiled.

"Thanks. Grace, same goes." She took her hand and shook it.

"So another Mitchell, eh?" Shirley grinned and Grace laughed.

"Yeah, I'm one of many. But, I'm nothing like my family really." Suzy had been eavesdropping and she turned her head slightly upon hearing this. Shirley looked slightly surprised.

"Oh. Why's that Grace?" Grace tilted her head and stared at the bar counter before looking at Shirley. Shirley found herself gazing at the girl's amazing eyes. Anyone would get lost in the purple-ish swirls that were barely visible in the green of her eyes.

"I'm not entirely sure. I'm not quiet or shy which is a definite Mitchell trait! I think it's because I show my emotion. I'm not afraid of my human emotions... Usually Mitchells all act hard and butch. I'm kinda sensitive and always show how I feel. I guess that's it." Shirley nodded in agreement.

"Definitely. Hiding behind the hard butch shield is a Mitchell trait alright. Wow, then you must be the first Mitchell I've met who had a soft side! When's your birthday?" Grace looked a little puzzled by the question but answered all the same.

"March the 17th." Shirley grinned in understanding.

"Ah, you're a Pisces. Sensitivity is a characteristic." Grace laughed. The listening Suzy smirked; her mind began to plan out how she could use the girl's sensitivity to her advantage. Ronnie came running back over to Grace.

"Roxy and I are gonna go spread the news; we'll have the party tonight. It'sss..." She checked her watch. "Half three now, the party's at seven till whenever you get tired!" Ronnie grinned. "Make yourself at home sweet, we'll be back soon." Ronnie grabbed her bag, linked arms with Roxy and left the pub.

"Well Shirley, nice to meet you. I'm gonna go have a kip now, if I'm gonna make it to seven I definitely need a nap!" Shirley laughed and nodded as Grace headed upstairs. Suzy's eyes followed the girl as she left the pub and went up the back. She was shocked at herself because for a second, she'd looked at the girl and checked her body out. Slapping herself in her mind, Suzy massaged her forehead. _Why did I think that? That is so wrong...and perverted. Ugh...I must have some sort of Mitchell magnet in my mind..._


	2. Compressing Thoughts

**Chapter 02 – Compressing Thoughts**

"Shit." Grace swore as she got mascara on her nose from moving the wand too quickly. She heard Roxy snort behind her.

"Shut up you..." Grace mumbled grinning slightly as she used a face wipe to clean the mascara from her nose. Roxy smiled over at the younger girl, both females were now ready for the party.

"So how many people d'ya reckon will show up tonight?" Grace asked as she checked and double-checked and re-checked her long, perfectly straight black hair in the mirror. Roxy pouted.

"Hmmm...well it's a Friday night as it is, and from the sound of things the pub is already pretty busy. So I'd say it'll be jam packed with pretty much everyone wanting to meet the new Mitchell. Every person you meet on this Square is nosey – perfect for pubs not so much for secrets that always get out though." Grace and Roxy both giggled together as they went downstairs.

Grace could hear the music booming from the disco night they were holding for her return. She felt so special...the fact Ronnie and the family wanted a party/disco to celebrate made her feel so loved it was great. As she entered the pub, the disco lights were shining and changing colours and almost everyone was up and dancing. She noticed that most of the tables and soft chairs had been moved except of course for the corner seats that always looked built in. The pub was big enough for people to dance and a section for anyone who just wanted a drink too.

The young girl turned her head to behind the bar and noticed for the first time, the blonde haired woman. At exactly the same time, the older woman happened to look in her direction. They locked eyes for what seemed like a lifetime. Grace couldn't take in how gorgeous the woman looked. Suzy narrowed her eyes, and folded her arms, which was slightly difficult when she got dressed because of her huge boobs in the push up bra she wore. Her cleavage was so hard not to stare at because it was so deep...and kind of irresistible to not stroke Grace thought sneakily.

_Why is she staring at me like that...? Cut it OUT! Okay, I'll look away first then... _The blonde woman looked away from Grace, and the young girl managed to shake herself out of the trance she'd been in and move over to Ronnie.

She held back the urge to ask her mother who the woman behind the bar was – somehow she felt inside that later in the evening she'd find out herself.

"Hey honey! Let's get the party started properly!" Ronnie turned down the music and the lights came on back to normal for a minute while Grace stood next to Ronnie on a mini stage.

"Attention, please everyone!" Ronnie tapped her wine glass to make everyone shut it. The pub fell quiet, except for the sounds of rattling bottles from behind the bar. Ronnie glared at Suzy so she stopped what she was doing and leaned over the bar counter instead, staring at Grace. Hoping the girl would look over again, Suzy found she was deliberately making sure she was showing enough of her super-sized cleavage to turn any soul on. Grace glanced in her direction and her eyes flickered in surprise as she saw the older woman's cleavage. Clearing her throat she chose to stare at her feet as a blush appeared on her cheeks. It was only faint, but it didn't go unnoticed and Suzy smirked in a smug victory type of way.

"This party is to say a big welcome home to Grace, my gorgeous daughter!" After the few seconds of stunned silence, the claps started up as everyone welcomed the new Mitchell. Grace grinned and said thank you, then got off the mini stage as Ronnie turned the lights back to disco style and the music loud again. Roxy passed her a glass of vodka as she walked past; Grace took it enthusiastically and downed the drink instantly. She shuddered and made a funny sound of disgust from drinking it too fast, but found herself heading for the bar for a top up.

Suzy snatched her glass from her hand as she came over. Before Grace could say anything, she'd already re-filled her vodka. She shoved the glass back into her hand before quickly finding someone else to serve before the black haired girl could even say thank you. Raising both her eyebrows, Grace shrugged then took the drink properly, sipping this one instead.

__

The party was still raving but by now it was around half eleven and Suzy looked 'worn out'. She was doing it on purpose; knowing that Grace cared more than the rest of her family would mean she'd notice how tired she seemed. It turned out that Ronnie helped her plan by accident anyway. Shirley and the other woman who was helping, had gone out the back for their fags and Ronnie had noticed Suzy 'working so hard' on her own. It wasn't that she liked Suzy that made her say it; it was the fact she wanted Grace to get to know the family better.

"Hey Grace, go see if she needs any help." Grace looked up then saw Ronnie meant the woman she'd been eyeing up earlier and felt her blush return swiftly to her pale cheeks. She stood still just looking in the woman's direction as she flicked her hair back and scrubbed the counter.

Ronnie pushed Grace forward slightly after she seemed reluctant and hadn't moved. Grace stumbled forwards until Ronnie had pushed her so much she was a centimetre away from Suzy. She'd stopped scrubbing by now, and was standing with one hand on her hip, smirking at the young girl who managed to act casual.

"Need any help?" Grace asked. The blonde woman raised one eyebrow as she made it very clear she was looking the younger girl up and down. She tipped her head to one side and put her hand on her chin in thought.

"Hmm…I might do." Standing up straight and folding her arms (a common pose for Suzy) she narrowed her eyes at Grace. Grace gulped, feeling the hairs on the back of her neck stand up from the blonde's eyes drilling holes into her skin. Unable to think of anything to say she stood there uncomfortably, shuffling her feet slightly until Suzy broke the short silence.

"Suzy." She put her hand out towards the girl. A blush crept once more onto Grace's cheeks as she took the older woman's outstretched hand.

"G-Grace." She murmured shaking it. The blonde smirked as she took her hand back.

"Yes, I did gather that." Turning, she returned to 'scrubbing the counters' where really she was barely even touching them with the sponge.

"Hey…w-why don't you have a break. Shirley's coming back now."

Suzy stopped scrubbing again and turned back round to gaze at the young girl; she loved making her feel uncomfortable, yet she had no idea why.

"Alright." Placing the sponge in its home, she dried her hands and moved from behind the counter, as she did this, she brushed past Grace whose cheeks burnt red from their slight momentary touch.

"So what shall we do on this break of mine?" Suzy asked casually, tilting her head as her eyes were stuck firmly to Grace's shy face.

"Oh! Um…Well I'm not s-sure…" Grace murmured sheepishly, staring at her feet unable to hold any kind of eye-contact with the intimidating, beautiful woman.

"Helpful." Suzy smirked, her eyes calculating Grace's ever-growing embarrassment. "Something wrong? You're a bit red."

Grace's eyes widened slightly as she heard Suzy's question.

_Oh Shit…She can see my blush…damnit…_

"N-No not at all! It's just a bit hot in here." She started to fan herself with her hand feeling even more heated on her cheeks from the fact Suzy could see she was embarrassed.

"Well then, let's go outside. Then you can cool off." Winking slightly, Suzy turned and headed for the Pub's double door entrance. Grace blinked slightly; she was un-sure whether or not she'd just seen Suzy wink. Slowly, she turned to follow Suzy like a lap dog.

Taking her jacket, Grace watched as Suzy went outside. She followed her, the cold air washing over her pink face. Closing her eyes she enjoyed the sensation of the cold winter air against her. Suzy watched, raising her eyebrows at the young girl.

"Come on, I'll show you around." Suzy spoke up, making Grace's eyes snap open suddenly.

"Oh…sure okay." Grace murmured unable to stop herself from eyeing up Suzy again.

_She's so sexy…Damn…Just looking at her gets me a bit worked up in my lower region…God that's so embarrassing…_

Suzy turned around, Grace hadn't even moved down the path. She smirked slightly – Grace's expression was a bit gormless and her mouth was parted slightly.

"Are you coming or are you going to just stand there all night?" She raised her voice so Grace could hear her.

"S-Sorry!" Shaking her head out of her trance, Grace jogged over to Suzy her cheeks flushing bright red for what seemed like the millionth time that evening. Smirking again, Suzy continued to walk slowly down the path her hips swaying a little bit.

Grace found her eyes wandering over the blonde woman again; she looked at the woman's bum and how much she wanted to feel it in her grasp. Her eyes widened at her thoughts, she tore her eyes away from Suzy's behind worried that at any minute she'd dive on her.

"So, how old did you say you were?" Suzy asked curiously, slowing down so Grace was walking exactly beside her rather than a bit behind. The blonde woman couldn't help but gaze at the young girl, for some reason she found her so mysterious…and even though she wasn't gay she thought she was so outstandingly beautiful.

_This is so strange…I enjoy making this girl flustered…I don't understand what's going on in my head right now…maybe it's just because I'm pissed at Phil…_

"Seventeen." Grace mumbled staring at the floor as the pair walked. "It isn't how it seems. Ronnie isn't stupid; she didn't want to have me." Suzy tilted her head as she listened.

"She tried to get rid of me…but for some reason she changed her mind. She decided to keep me rather than kill me." Grace stopped walking. Suzy stopped too.

"I know you're probably thinking that I have no right to just come waltzing back here, but I felt alone. I had no one else…so I wanted my mom." Suzy took her eyes off Grace, staring in the opposite direction. She had no idea what to say to Grace.

She hated pretty much all of the Mitchells. She hated Peggy with a passion; she found Roxy an annoying slag and Ronnie a pompous bitch. Heck, even sometimes she saw Phil as a fat bald pig…but this girl…she couldn't find anything to hate. Not yet, anyway. This only angered the blonde woman more. For some reason she wanted to hate Grace…because she was seemingly so kind.

"It's none of my business." Was all that Suzy could bring herself to say. She crossed the road and headed for the small park in the centre of the square.

Grace watched her go, before following her. Suzy sat on one of the metal benches, her breath visible from the sharp cold air. She was shivering slightly. Grace reached her and sat beside her.

"Are you cold?" The black haired girl asked.

"Did you guess that when you saw my goose bumps?" Suzy replied sarcastically, crossing her arms.

Grace felt a small smile creep onto her face. She took off her jacket.

"Here." She put it over Suzy's shoulders before blushing furiously and standing up, slowly walking back towards the pub.

_She really is a kind person. But what is wrong with me? Why can't I hate her? Ugh…she is making me frustrated…we technically only just met, and yet she seems like she can talk to me about anything… How can someone be so open? After only knowing me a short while?_

Suzy let out a long sigh, leaning back on the bench letting her thoughts control her for the moment. She found herself watching Grace's figure heading back to the pub again. She saw the girl rubbing her arms.

_She's cold…_

Pressing a hand to her temple, Suzy closed her eyes tightly, letting the cold air wash over her. She tried to compress her growing thoughts…but Grace kept returning unwillingly to her mind…


End file.
